“I’m just now getting over this. This year, I feel like it’s the grace of God that I got this job.”
On paper, General Hospital‘s Tabyana Ali practically has it all. A loving family, an amazing job playing Trina and fans so devoted and smitten with ‘Sprina’ that they hired a plane to fly a banner over ABC studios to cheer on the pairing!
All of that is genuinely fantastic, so if it sounds amazing, it is. However, as Ali pointed out on a recent episode of Maurice Benard’s (Sonny) State of Mind, the surface doesn’t necessarily reflect the interior.
Regarding her difficulties, Ali said, “I don’t know how to explain it. “It was tough. I thought I looked OK on the outside, so I must be fine.
She acknowledges, though, that she has fought with depression for the most of her life. Think about that. Unfortunately, problems with mental health have no limits. Even though Tabyana Ali is only 20 years old, she has experienced hardships.
She cited specific instances in her own family life as the reason why she had to deal with internal conflict. I never understood why because I always considered myself to be quite fortunate. Even though some things were happening in my life that were somewhat detrimental, I felt like I had a lot for which to be thankful. I had wonderful siblings, a wonderful mother, food, a home, and this career. There was so much for which I should be grateful.
But that didn’t necessarily imply that’s how she felt. It can be quite challenging to hang onto the positive when the terrible always appears to be there since our brains can be our own worst adversaries.
She continued, “I was fine for a minute. The following minute, I found it impossible to understand anything. She would experience anguish whether she was around others or not, whether she was taking on too much or too little – it seemed like she was unable to make decisions that wouldn’t hurt.
And after that, she continued, “things from my history would haunt me.” I might be scrubbing dishes as something happens to hurt me. I would experience anxiety and panic attacks as a result of it.
The worst of it, though, wasn’t that. Being depressed extends beyond occasional sadness. There is a great deal more than that.
Ali admitted that there were times when she felt absolutely nothing. And it’s not used seriously. the sensation of emptiness. I experienced a sense of nothingness. Nothing seemed to be able to fill the hole in my chest, and it would simply be there.
She made the best of her situation and journaling and poetry played a significant role in her path. The sorrow was evident when she read what she had written, but there were also glimmers of hope since she knew that this would not last forever and that she was destined for more. That glimmer of optimism eventually transformed into the glaring brightness of an exit.
“All of that is starting to disappear,” she shared. “I can’t even feel it anymore. I feel like I’ve changed 17 times this year. And each time, I go against the person I saw myself becoming when I was depressed.”
“Eventually,” she mused, “something just clicked in my head where I was like, ‘It’s time to just let this go. You can’t be here forever, especially if you want what you really want. And the dreams that you really want and the dreams that you see happening, you’ve got to let go of the past. You’ve got to let go of the things that aren’t fulfilling you.’”
We’re incredibly thankful that the talented actress has made it to that point. And as Benard pointed out, to have gone through the darkness and figured your way out of it at such a young age is downright incredible.
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